Thursday, July 26, 2012

A Short Reign

This is Pwincess.

When I was a kid, her name was Princess Toadstool.  She was on the "Super Mario Brothers Super Show," which was, undoubtedly, my favorite cartoon as a child.  I was literally distraught when it went off the air.  (That -coupled with my mean fifth grade teacher  - made for a pretty traumatic ten year-old experience.)

Today, Pwincess is on "Mario Kart Wii."  She drives all sorts of shiny pink racing vehicles and squeaks in a  happy voice.  She goes by the name Peach.  I'm not sure why her name changed - maybe her last name is Toadstool.  If so, Peach Toadstool is an unfortunate name.

Amelia and her Daddy love to play "Race Cars" (Wace Cars?) together.  This really consists of Jeremy driving Peach around the racetrack in her car while Amelia pretends to drive beside him.  Amelia thinks she is driving.  I'm not sure who Amelia thinks her Daddy is supposed to be...maybe Mario?  I'm confused by this logic, but it works for a three year-old girl who is content to pretend to be a princess in a roadster.

During a date night at the beginning of the summer, we bought Amelia a Princess Peach car.  Amelia loves cars (she's around boys all day), and she loves playing "Race Cars" with her Daddy, so we thought this would be a perfect gift.

Amelia had to sleep with her new car the first night we brought it home.  Peach traveled with us often.  Sometimes, we'd be ready to go in the car and hear, "Where my Pwincess!?"  We'd turn around, get Peach, and all would be well with the world.

Peach was well loved....maybe a little too well.  Apparently, the makers of the Peach cars did not make them very durable.  A few weeks into our ownership of her, poor Peach began to suffer.

First, Peach's ponytail fell off.  I tried to glue it back, but to no avail.

Next, the back of Peach's car spoiler literally snapped off, making the back end of the car jagged and a little pointy. We put Peach's car away to keep Amelia from getting hurt.

Finally, a couple of days ago, Jeremy handed me something he placed on the mantle.  It was Peach's head.

"I think Princess finally ate it," he said.  "She's done."

I looked at the car and and at the sad, disfigured Princess Peach.  Then, I did what most practical mothers would do at this point - I said good-bye to Peach.  Peach's car went into the trashcan.

I found her head today and snapped the picture above to remind myself of Amelia's sheer lack of regard for toys.  One day, I will relish the chance to tell future boyfriends about how she ate books, ripped dolls to shreds, and beheaded her princess in the race car.

Peach was a good princess. Her reign was very brief, but meaningful.  A new princess may come into our home for Amelia's birthday...and if she does, I'm sure Peach the Second will have a very profound impact on Amelia too.

Here's hoping Amelia won't Anne Boleyn the next princess...

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