Friday, August 28, 2009

So Strong, So Fast

Amelia is only three weeks old and she already seems to be growing up so fast!

She is so strong. She can hold her head up for extended periods of time. When I try to burp her over my shoulder, she lifts her head up to look at me (and gives me the evil eye, which seems to say, "WHY are you doing this to me, Mama?"). During "tummy time," she can lift her head and shoulders up, and she kicks out her little feet like she's going to crawl! She grabs my hands and acts like she wants to lift up! It astounds me how strong she is.

When she's awake (which isn't very often, granted), she likes to sit up as opposed to being swaddled in a little bundle and rocked like a newborn baby. She likes to be able to look around and see the world. She's obsessed with the windows at our house, and she likes to go outside. She's only seven pounds and some change, she still wears newborn clothes (0-3 stuff is still too big for her) and she she's teeny tiny, but she's already starting to act like a big girl. I can already assume that she's going to be independent and fiesty!

Here are some pictures of our latest adventures:

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Amelia's Journey

August 5th, 2009 was one of the best days of my life. I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My birth experience was wonderful, and I can't believe it went as well as it did. I had a great doctor, a fabulous nurse, a wonderful epidural, and a beautiful experience. Jeremy and Mom were with me, and they were so helpful and kind the whole time.

Those first few days in the hospital were kind of a blissful blur. I know most people don't talk about their hospital stays as a blissful blur, but mine was. We had plenty of visitors, lots of time to spend adjusting to our baby girl, and wonderful nurses. Jeremy and I were so happy. We were all prepared and ready to go home on Friday. Our nurse came do do a final check on us before we were discharged.

Then she discovered Amelia's fever.

I can tell you about the last moments of Adolf Hitler's life in a stupid bunker in Berlin. I can tell you about the effects of communism in Eastern Europe. I can tell you almost anything you ever want (or don't want) to know about the state of Georgia. I can't tell you anything about newborns. Babies are not my area of expertise. I had no idea that a fever in a newborn was such a big deal. Jeremy and I thought she might have caught a cold of some type. We were wrong.

Amelia was whisked away to the NICU. At first, I thought, "this will just be for observation until they get the fever down, and then we can go home. No big deal." Amelia's blood work showed she most likely had some sort of infection. Not a simple cold, not a little sniffle - some sort of infection. My first thought was, "Did I do this? HOW did this happen? Was I careful when I let people hold her?" Then came the other bad news - Amelia would have to remain in the NICU for at least 48 hours.

We were shocked. Leaving our baby girl in the NICU the first evening was the hardest thing Jeremy and I ever did. Seeing our healthy, happy, hungry (she NEVER stopped eating) baby hooked to monitors and a forehead iv was traumatizing. We held each other and wondered when we she would get better and when we would get to take her home. We were already fragile from being new parents - but this seemed like too much.

Amelia's 48-hour visit turned into a seven-day stay. The doctors had no answers other than this was a serious infection that needed to be treated with antibiotics. Amelia did so well in the hospital. She smiled, ate well, and entertained her visitors and nurses. Her stay was much harder on Jeremy and I.

Jeremy had to go back to school on Monday, and I was crushed. It was so hard to go through being in the hospital without him. I had to depend on family to take me to the hospital. I tried to spend as much time at the hosptial as I could. My bones and insides ached from sitting in hospital chairs all day, but I was determined to spend all the time that I could spend with my baby girl. D'Anna came with me almost every day and helped me change diapers, feed her, and take care of her. I don't know what I would have done without my sister.

One of those nights at home without her, I glanced at a picture on my phone of Amelia taken before she went to the NICU. I broke down sobbing. It hit me. My baby was in the hospital. My baby was sick. My baby wasn't home. Throughout Amelia's hospital stay, I clung to her verse and sang that song in my head more than ever - "surely it is God who saves me/I will trust in Him and not be afraid/for the Lord is my stronghold and my sure defense..."

The doctors never found out what Amelia had. She went through a full round of antibiotics and got to go home Friday morning. It was such a happy, quiet moment - we were so excited to take her out of the NICU and to our home. Jeremy showed her around the house and collapsed on the couch with her to relax.

We are so thankful and blessed that our little girl is okay. Her trip to the NICU was not what we expected, but we know that it happens to so many people, and that there are so many people who don't get to bring their babies home for weeks or even months..or ever. I really gained a lot of perspective. A healthy baby is truly a gift from God.

The prayers of people around us helped so much and we were and are so thankful for those who showed they cared during Ameila's hospital stay. Amelia's journey was not the one that most babies take, but we are thankful that she is well and grateful for God's provision over our lives.

Thursday, August 6, 2009


Amelia Elizabeth Farr

August 5th, 2009 - 3:58 pm
6 pounds, 12 ounces
19.5 inches long

Sunday, August 2, 2009

It's Almost Time!

I will be induced on Wednesday if Amelia Elizabeth doesn't decide to come before then. There are so many feelings that buoy through my mind right now as I consider my foray into parenthood. So, no matter what, I'll hopefully have a baby by Wednesday (or Thursday...)!

I'm excited to see my little girl. I can't wait to see what she looks like (Does she have hair? What color will her skin tone be? Will she look like me or Jeremy?). I can't wait to finally hold her in my arms and love and kiss on her. I can't wait to see her precious little face. There was a time when I didn't know if I would have her. Six weeks into this pregnancy my ultrasound didn't show a baby. I went home, held my husband, and cried my eyes out - we loved her already, and we didn't even know her gender, her name, or anything about her. Seeing her will only affirm how miraculous she is, as well as the faithfulness of a great, great God.

I'm nervous about childbirth. I'm nervous about being in pain, about the ten million little things that could go wrong, and about - well, you know - all of it. I didn't want to be induced, but I was told I COULD be, and Jeremy wanted to spend time with his little girl before he got weighed down with school. Any teacher can tell you how stressful and difficult the first few weeks of school are as you get back into the swing of things. So I decided that the extra pain the pitocin gives me will be worth the time that Jeremy gets to spend with Amelia. (I'm not going lie, here - I was GROUCHY at him the rest of the day. Poor Jerm.)

I'm scared about being a parent. Reading about teaching students and then walking into your own classroom are two totally different experiences. I've read lots of stuff on parenting and taking care of a baby, but I know it will not even compare to my experiences that I actually live through. It's a scary thought to be completely responsible for another human being. It's scary to think that this little person will be completely dependent on me! I hope and pray I'm able to be a good Mama to her.

I will try to update our blog with pictures of our newest addition sometime next week. Until then, here are some pictures of Amelia's nursery. This time next week, our little girl will be sleeping soundly in her bed ...or wailing in my ears...ya know...probably one of those...

Amelia's bed, with her "life verse" above it.

Amelia's books and little keepsakes for her (my Woggie being one of them).

The changing table for the Diaper Princess. Mom refinished my furniture from my childhood room to use in her nursery, and I think it turned out looking great! :)

Amelia's "life verse" that I made into a picture for her. I stole this idea from Kristi. I'm not nearly as "artsy fartsy" as she and Kathi are, but my experience with teaching has helped me make letters. :)