I'm already 20 weeks! I can't believe it!
I'm pretty much in maternity wear by this point. I can still wear several of my tops, but my pants are packed up and put away (with a tear in my eye - I'm not going to lie - who knows if I'll ever even see those again??). I'm still at that awkward stage where I don't look 100% pregnant - in fact, I just feel fat at this point. I'll just sound selfish and honest at this point - I don't feel like I look good and it is depressing. I worked SO hard to lose weight a couple of years ago...and to just feel fat (as opposed to pregnant) isn't very encouraging. My skin isn't "glowing," either...the kids have commented on how sick I look, and I'm sure part of that is the fact that I was sick for pretty much the whole month of February. I just feel like a sallow-eyed, fat mess.
I called one of my friends crying about how I just felt fat and gross (which in turn, made me feel selfish - because I'm supposed to be HAPPY at this point!) and she really made me feel like I wasn't alone and stupid. I'll blame it all on the hormones because I'm allowed to do that. I'm just ready for Amelia to "pop" so I can go ahead and have that proud Mama Belly.
I'm obviously showing enough, however, because the kids asked me this past week (and everyone else on the planet - they probably asked the principal) this week if I was pregnant. I went ahead and told them...so they would shut up. Seriously. They drove me CRAZY this week! I was not happy with them and let them know it...poor kids. But seriously - it is so rude to ask a woman if she is pregnant.
So...there is my 20-week confession. I'm a real person, with real (albeit selfish) worries, flaws, and fears. If my blog was always roses and sunshine it wouldn't be nearly as interesting. So there ya go. I am really excited about this pregnancy - and I know when I see that sweet face of Amelia's it will be worth all the pain, weight gain, and other loveliness that comes along for the ride. I'm allowed a little grouchiness now and then, right?
I'll try to update a little more often. I would like our updates to include pictures. I can normally take pictures myself of topics to place on the blogs ...but I have to have Jerm around to take pictures of me, so it gets a little complicated. He has been pretty busy with soccer season. We go for another ultrasound in a couple of weeks, so I'll show new pictures of our precious Amelia then!