Sunday, January 27, 2008

"Was Blind, But Now, I See..."

Memama had us go through some of Grandpaw's things yesterday. It was sad to walk into his room and think about him never coming back to it. I looked at the pictures of his battalion on the wall, his grandmother, and his family. I tried my best not to cry.

I found a Bible that Grandpaw had bought a few years back. Each chapter of the Bible had a star by scrawled beside it, and each book of the Bible had a date written next to it. Apparently, he wanted to read the entire Bible through before he went blind. On the last page of the book of Revelation, I found this entry written with his shaky hand:

"On July 26th, 2002 I began to read through the Bible and on this day of September 30th, 2003 I fished reading every verse, chapter and book. I tried and for the most part I would at least [read] a chapter a a day or night. And may I say that it has been a great blessing to read the Bible again. So on this morning of September 30th, 2003 at 1:07 AM [Grandpaw always was a night owl] it is finished. I'll never read through it again. May God bless the reading of His word."

Such faith amazes and inspires me.

I wonder what he sees now...

Saturday, January 26, 2008


I lost my grandfather this week, and sometimes the sadness of losing him is overwhelming. I lost a grandparent before, but something about my Grandpaw was inordinately wonderful and special.

I loved him almost more than I loved my own parents when I was growing up. For many years, I was the only Cain grandchild, and I was spoiled rotten by the Cain side of the family.
Grandpaw and Memama would come and pick me up on Mondays or Tuesdays during the summer and take me to breakfast, to the grocery store, and even to the mall sometimes. They were so much fun - I remember how they used to drive each other crazy. Looking back, I think they teased each other on purpose.

Grandpaw was always one of my strongest defenders. One time I stuck my finger in ice cream at my grandparent's house, and Memama slapped my hand. Well, Grandpaw was very upset. He didn't think I deserved such a treacherous punishment. He took the section of the ice cream sullied by my finger and ate every single bit of it. It wasn't dirty to him.

He had the best sense of humor. He used to pick me up to take me to his beloved church, New Bridge, during Vacation Bible School and on Wednesday nights. One year, he told me that everyone needed to have shots to go to Bible School. I was so scared to go! I remember I climbed into his little white truck and froze with fear. I was about to cry when he had to break down and tell me that I wasn't going to get a shot. At the moment, I didn't think it was particularly funny, but I always look back on the incident and laugh. Grandpaw was always full of funny stories and jokes.

I know he loved me, and I know that he loved God more than anything else on this earth. I remember telling him about my decision to become a Christian. It was the only time I ever saw him cry in my twenty-seven years of knowing him. There was rarely a time when he wasn't at church. During the last years of his life, he became inundated with blindness due to his Diabetes. He was depressed because he wasn't able to read his Bible anymore. I take joy in knowing that he can see everything clearly now.

Grandpaw was my hero. He fought for our country in World War II and survived missions that would make most men quiver at the knees. He was a Godly man of integrity and worth. I know he is in a better place, but I also admit that I am a selfish person. Such a treasure is not to be relinquished without a heavy heart. I ache for one more conversation with him, one more hug, or one more moment.

For now, I value my memories and hold fast to the assurance I have in Christ. I wait patiently for the day I will see him again.

Everyone Else is Doing It...

So, I thought I would try to actually create a site for my blogs, since writing and ranting keeps me happy. Maybe I can look back at these in ten years and laugh at my own stupidity - who knows?

I put Jeremy's name on here, but I seriously doubt he'll ever blog about anything. Well, he might come on here and talk about basketball or recite lines from "Pulp Fiction." Other than that, don't expect much out of him.